


And They Call it Frerard

by DaisukiRose (orphan_account)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bob Bryar has a sister?!, Fluff, Frank has too many feelings, Frank's a bottom probably, Frerard, Gee has a lot of problems, I Just Really Love Pete Wentz, I Love You, I mean definitely wtf, I'm Bad At Tagging, IDEK what Gerard's problem is, Just like Gee is bad at feelings, Light Angst, Love, M/M, That has nothing to do with anything but Pete Wentz is so amazing like, Well he does now, new kid, shy!Frank
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-02 10:19:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5244668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DaisukiRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank Iero is new at school, and he's picked the most dangerous seat in the classroom, next to the badass Gerard Way. Read to find out. :3 I'm still uploading, okay, so give me time. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 001

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic a really long time ago, so don't judge. It gets better as I go. :)

Franklin Iero. That’s what was printed on my new, crisply laminated student ID for Roosevelt High School. It held all my information: height (4’10”), weight (119 lbs.), grade (11th, a junior), and homeroom teacher (Mr. Waters). It also held the fact that I was in a new town, a new school, a new life, and not a clue what to do about it. I hated moving, I really did, but it’s just a part of life. I stared down at my Vans, their contrast against the creamy white tiles of the school office, and my tattooed knuckles, as I waited for the secretary to lead me to my classroom. “Alright, Franklin, it’s your first day of school!” She crowed, slapping a hand on my back. “I’ll lead you to your first class. You start off in math, okay?” I nodded, following behind the buxom woman, all but encased in her shadow. Everyone was probably already in class, there were a few late kids streaming in, but besides that, it was mostly me and the secretary taking up the hallway. She opened a left-hand door and strode confidently into the classroom. “Mr. Waters, you have a new student!”

A young teacher, maybe in his mid-20s, looked up from his desk and straight over my head, before lowering his eyes to meet mine. Typical. He smiled, coming to shake my hand. “Hello, you must be Franklin.”

“Just Frank, please.” I mumbled, staring at my shoes. “Please don’t make me introduce myself.”

Mr. Waters smiled again, nodding. “Ah, a shy one, okay. Pick a seat then… Frank.”

I scanned the class, seeing three open seats. The first one was at the front of the class, just off to the teacher’s left. Nope. The second was in the very back, again on the left-ish side of the center. Also a no. That left one seat, in the middle-back right, a single seat away from the wall. I started to walk over there and the class went into a collective silence, watching me as I set my backpack down at my feet and sat in the desk. The guy on my left looked up, his silent, menacing hazel eyes seeming to take me in before giving me the smallest grunts of assent. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and butterflies danced in my stomach as he broke our little staring contest, returning his eyes to his notebook, which he had a hoodie-clad arm around protectively. I felt a wave of nervousness wrack my body as I pulled out my own spiral-bound notebook and a pencil out of my backpack’s front pocket. “Alright, class, now that that’s settled, let’s begin.” 

The first thing we had to do was a placement test, fairly easy stuff, most of it from last year’s math class. I went to work on answering as many questions as possible, as did the rest of the class, excepting the boy on my left. He kept sketching in his notebook, as if he was oblivious to the rest of the class’ work. I couldn’t see what he was sketching, but that only interested me more, making me even more curious as to who he is. But I didn’t have much time to contemplate it, as the class bell rang and he rose from his chair before anyone else had made a move, stooping to pick up his own backpack and stuffing his pencil inside the front zipper pocket. Before he could grab up his notebook, I caught a glimpse of what he had been sketching. It was an incredibly detailed sketch, if a trace cartoonish, of… me. He had captured me in charcoal, sitting up tall in my desk to complete my sheet. I gasped, eyes wide as I haphazardly stuffed my notebook into my bag. Why would he draw me? I chewed my lip ring in thought as I walked out of the classroom, and… ran smack into a blond girl in a strappy floral sundress, losing my balance and knocking her off center. I quickly stood up, grabbing my backpack up off the floor and offering her a hand to get up. “Oh my gosh, are you okay?!” I asked, eyes wide as she stood on her own, ignoring my hand and giving me a pleasant smile.

“It’s okay.” She grinned. “I’m alright. I’m Snyper Bryar, by the way, and you are…. Frank Iero. You’re Frank, right?”

“Um… Yes?” I was stumped as to how she knew that. She hadn’t been in my class yet! “How’d you know?”

“You sat next to Gerard.” She said simply, shrugging and pointing to the guy who had been on my left, who was now walking away from us through the sea of parting people. “I got a text telling me about the new kid, so everyone in the school probably knows who you are. Gerard hasn’t let anyone sit by him before.” She smiled funnily. “Want to join us for lunch? Me and a bunch of friends’ll be out in the quad.” 

“O… Okay.” I said, chewing nervously on my lip ring. “Thank you… Snyper.”

“Yep!” She said, walking off with a smile on her face. NOW I couldn’t wait for lunch.

Okay. Before we go on any farther in my story, there’s a few things you should know. First off is that I’m gay. When I say gay, I mean Gayer-Than-Freddy-Mercury gay. Like, unicorns and rainbows gay. Second is that, if you can’t tell, people agonize me. I’ve got anxiety, I’m shy, and I’m a pushover. Also, I play guitar. Alright, that’s all. Back to the story. 

Anyways, class was fairly uneventful until I got to lunch. I wandered out onto the quad and quickly spotted Snyper, mainly because she was jumping up and down under a large oak tree. “Frank!” She called. “Frankie, over here!” I walked over to where she was sitting, and noticed her companions. There was a tall, broad-shouldered blond guy who looked very much like Snyper, a guy with thick, curly brown hair that cascaded around his goofy face like an afro, and a guy with long, slicked-back blond hair that kind of had an emo-scene vibe around him. “Frank, this is Bob, my twin brother,” pointing to the tallest blond one, “And this is Ray Toro,” the curly-haired one, “And this is Mikey Way.” The last one, who was wearing a yellow-and-black zebra print muscle shirt. “And you already know Gerard Way, he’s over there.” She pointed to where, underneath the tree, Gerard was sitting. He had his notebook out once again, drawing or something, and he flicked his gaze over all of us for a second before going back to his work. “Gerard and Mikey are brothers. Mikey’s younger. Guys, this is Frank Iero.”

“FRANKIEEE!” Ray yelled, grinning as he ran up to me and caught me in a bear hug. “Nice to meet yo - Owwww!” Gerard smirked from his place on the ground as Ray let go of me and turned around, picking up an egg-sized rock from just behind him. “That HURT, Gerard! Jeez!” Shaking his head, he turned back around to me. “Well, nice to meet you, anyways.” He shot me a lopsided smile. 

I half-laughed, letting out my high-pitched, girly squeal of a laugh. “Nice to meet you, too, I guess…?” 

Mikey started talking to me then, cutting off a reply from Ray. “Hey, Short New One, want to come to the amusement park with us this afternoon? We’re gonna go take on the new roller coaster.” He got a fierce grin on his face as he waited for my response.

“Yeah, Frankie, you should come, it’ll be fun!” Snyper chimed in with a huge smile on her face.

“I guess so.” I said, smiling back. “I’d love to.”

After lunch, in 6th period, Ray was in my biology class. I walked in and found a seat, on the right of Ray, and he grinned. “Frank!” He said, ruffling my hair. “Nice to see you again!”

“Hi, Ray.” I half-smiled back, running a hand over my head to assess the damage he’d done to my hair before just smoothing it back down. 

“Alright, class!” The teacher – Ms. Olson – said then, turning towards us all. “We’re going to be watching a movie today…”

“Nap time!” Ray mumbled, and as soon as the room went dark, Ray’s head hit the desk, fast asleep.

I almost laughed as I picked up my pen, shaking my head at Ray and beginning to take notes. Unlike him, I cared about getting good grades.


	2. 002

At the end of the day, I pulled out my cell phone as I walked out the front doors of the school. I dialed our new house’s number, and my mom picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Hi, Mom, it’s Frankie.” I said, a smile in my voice. “I made some friends, and we’re going to the amusement park after school today, okay?”

“Okay, sweetie, but be home before 10:00. You know how sketchy new towns are after dark.” She said, sounding surprised at my having friends on the first day. “Have fun!”

I hung up the phone just as I heard a blasting horn from behind me. Two cars were waiting behind the school; one was an old silvery-gray Honda, and the other was a newer blue Ford thing. “Frankie!” Snyper called from the passenger seat of the blue car. “Let’s goooooooo! Get in Gerard’s car!”

“Yeah, c’mon, man, we’ll be late!” Bob called from the driver’s, honking his horn again.

I smiled a little, heading to the beat-up grey car behind theirs and sliding into the only open seat- the passenger. It was me, Gerard, Mikey, and Ray in this car, and only the Bryar twins in the other. Gerard nodded a hello, while Ray and Mikey both seemed very excited to see me. “Frank!” Ray said, grinning. “I thought you were NEVER going to come!”

I smiled shyly and said something back, but Gerard was taking most of my attention at the moment. His jaw was clenching and unclenching, clearly annoyed with his brother’s antics as he throttled the steering wheel with his big hands. God, he was sexy, and that jawline… No. He’s just my friend, I can’t think like this. But hey, it was true. He followed Bob and Snyper out of the school parking lot, talking a right towards town, and snaking down the backroads until we got to the amusement park, all in silence. I realized something then, while Mikey and Ray were squabbling in the backseat- I had never heard Gerard talk. Ever. He had stayed quiet this entire day I’d known him, and it was infuriatingly cute. I mean, he was obviously the gruff badass of the group, and I was the gay midget with too many feelings, but still. I don’t know what it was about him that drove me crazy, but it was there. When we arrived, he shut off the engine and stepped out of the car in his customary silence. I also got out, shutting my door behind me, but Ray and Mikey seemed to have not noticed. They were still sitting in the back, quarreling over something or another in the lighthearted way of friends. Gerard rolled his eyes, opening the door on Mikey’s side. “Get out, lover boys, we’re here.” He said, his voice deep and nasally, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up once again.

“Jeez, Gee, we get it!” Mikey whined, unbuckling and stepping out of the car, rolling his eyes.

Ray also got out, a defiant smirk on his face at apparently winning whatever argument had been so engrossing. Just then, Snyper ran up, tugging on Mikey’s sleeve and grabbing my wrist. “C’mon, guys, we’re waiting!” She said, pulling us towards the ticket stand where Bob was waiting patiently. “Let’s gooooooo! I wanna ride the roller coaster!”

I swear, that girl is a 5 year old in an 18 year old’s body.

“Okay, okay, we’re coming!” Mikey said, pulling back unexpectedly on his arm, causing her to let go of me and fall into him. “Shall we?”

She giggled, taking his arm and skipping back over to her brother. Ray followed close behind and I trailed back, Gerard just behind me and to my right. When we got to the ticket counter, Bob went up. “Ride passes for 6, please.” He said, grinning at the girl in the ticket booth. When she handed them over to him, he smiled again, winking. “Thanks, Rebecca.”

“You know her?” I asked stupidly, as soon as we were out of earshot of the ticket booth.

“Of course I do! Everybody knows Rebecca DuTeague!” He said, walking backwards in order to face me. “She throws the WICKEDEST parties. I think only you and Gerard haven’t been.”

I nodded slowly, chewing on my lip ring. Parties weren’t really my thing… But I might go to one. Someday. I don’t know yet. But why hadn’t Gerard gone? I mean, he’s lived here for a lot longer than I have… Maybe parties aren’t his scene, either. We wondered around for a bit, surveying all the rides as Ray told me stories of which ones were the best. The last ride they showed me was huge, pink, and covered in hearts. “This is the only one we haven’t been on,” Ray said, shuddering. “Because it looks scarier than the horror train. We generally avoid the Love Tunnel, but I thought you should know about it.” He shot it a dirty look before turning back around and heading in the direction of the roller coaster. “You wanted to go on the roller coaster, Snippy?”

Snyper got a huge grin on her face as she ran towards it. “Yesyesyes a thousand times yes!” She screamed, hopping in place as she waited in the short line, the rest of us kind of clustered around. “I’m finally gonna do it, Bob, and you won’t be able to say anything anymore!”

Bob snickered. “We’ll see, Snippy.” He said, smirking as he crossed his arms. 

The riders in front of us finished, and when the carny asked to see Snyper’s bracelet, she gladly showed it with a declaration of “I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna ride the roller coaster!”

We all got on the ride and found seats. Bob and Ray were in one, Mikey and Snyper in another, and that left me and Gerard in the last one. I sat down next to him, my heart in my throat both because of the fact I’d never ridden a roller coaster before and the closeness of me and Gerard. He smelled like vanilla, coffee, and cigarettes, and the three smells were absolutely intoxicating. He took the aisle seat, meaning he would be the last one on and the first one off, and also the one that I would go crashing into on every left turn on this track. If I was lucky, gravity would pull me into him and his scent. Nope. Not thinking that way. Not gonna do it. Anyways, the coaster lurched to a start, the mechanics snapping the bars over us and pulling the cars up the first hill. At the top, a mechanical flight attendant saluted. “Have a nice flight!” she said in her robotic voice before we went catapulting down the hill and around – you guessed it – a left turn. And gravity was in my favor today, pulling me into Gerard, who, for the first I’d ever seen, was actually smiling. He only smiled with one side of his mouth, though, and that stupid, lopsided smile made the butterflies return to my stomach as the track straightened out and so did I. Two cars ahead of us, I could see Snyper with her arms up in the air, screaming in pure delight as we went speeding down another hill and Mikey, on her right, was sneaking peeks of her face with a soft smile of his own. I turned my attention quickly back to our own car, because I felt something on my thigh. And there it was- resting gently against the side of my thigh was Gerard’s left hand, but his eyes were on the track ahead of us. The butterflies in my stomach grew and morphed into huge dragons, and I stared, dumbfounded, at his hand for a long while. I didn’t even know what to think! Was Gerard maybe… gay like me? Or was it just the gravity of the ride? When I looked up, Gerard’s smile had grown as we went around a right turn, him falling into me – and, because he was so much bigger than me, almost crushing my ribcage – and grinning fiendishly as we went down yet another hill towards the scariest thing on the track: the loop de loop. 

Snyper screamed again as we started up the loop, and she waved her arms around crazily, screaming and shrieking the whole way around. I clutched the safety bar for dear life, deathly afraid of falling out because my waist was too small to be safely secured. When you’re under 5’ tall, you never do know about these things, but I survived, and the rest of the roller coaster could not compare with the scariness of that two seconds of terror I felt. During the loop, though, Gerard’s hand fell away from my thigh and my leg felt a sort of emptiness, a coldness from where his hand used to be pressed. Jeez. I had promised not to think this way. When we got off, everyone’s legs were all wobbly, and Snyper was still laughing. “I did it! I did it, Bobby, I did it!” she cheered, a hand on his shoulder for stability. “I really rode the roller coaster!” 

Bob laughed at her, regaining his balance slowly as he walked over to sit on a picnic bench. “Great, Snippy, you did it. It only took you 18 years.” He said, a smirk on his face. “Now, anyone hungry?”

“I’m always hungry.” Ray declared, sniffing the air. “I smell elephant ears… that way. “He pointed vaguely left, towards the food court, but my mind was elsewhere. My mind was back about 3 minutes ago, just before the loop de loop. My mind had fallen out there, and that was the last picture it kept replaying in my head: Gerard’s hand resting just against my thigh, right next to the rip in my skinny jeans. “Frank?” Ray said, bringing me back to reality with his hand waving in my face. “Fraaaannnnkkkiiieee?! Hello, earth to Frankie!”

I shook my head, clearing my mind and returning to earth once more. “Hi, Ray.”

“Do you want an elephant ear or not? Bob and Snippy’re buying.” 

He looked at me with a curious expression, and I looked over everyone else’s faces, which had the same expression, except Gerard’s. His was that little half-smirk that made my heart race, that knowing little smirk that meant he knew where my mind still was. “Uhm… Sure, I’m starved.” I said, trying my best to do a convincing grin. 

“Okay then!” Bob said to the lady working the elephant ears stand. “I guess that’s six.” 

A short time later, we were all back in the cars, on our ways home. Half an elephant ear lay in a Styrofoam box on the floorboard of Gerard’s car, and Mikey was soon to be asleep in the back. The sun was just setting as we watched Bob, Snyper, and Ray all pile into the car ahead of us and take off in the direction of their houses. Gerard started his own car and headed back in the vague direction of which we had come. Instead of hitting the turnoff towards the residential district, though, he turned towards the river, parking on a bluff that overlooked the sunset and the flowing current. Mikey had already fallen asleep in the back seat, the kid he was, so it was just Gerard and I sitting over the dazzlingly orange sunset. “Uhm… Gerard? Why’re we here?” I asked, stuttering over my words. 

He shrugged, pulling a camera off the back floorboard. “I wanted to take a picture.” He said in his deep New Jersey accent. “And we’re gonna play a little game.”

My heart thrummed in my chest. “What kind of game?” I asked, never taking my eyes from the side of his face as he lifted the camera and took a few stills of the scene.

“It doesn’t really have a name. I guess it’s the truth side of Truth or Dare.” He said, stepping out of the car to take an even better picture.

“O… Okay.” I said, stuffing my hands in my hoodie pocket and chewing on my lip ring. It wasn’t cold yet, maybe 60 degrees or so, but just being around Gerard and hearing his voice gave me chills. In a good way. 

After a few minutes of silence, Gerard shut his camera off and replaced its lens cap, sitting on a large, particularly flat rock and motioning for me to sit on another opposite him. “So…” He said, looking up at the dawning night above our heads. “What’s your full name?”

“Franklin Iero.” I said, my eyes still not having left his face. “And yours?”

“Gerard Arthur Way.” He ran a hand through his jet-black hair and brought his sparkling hazel eyes back down to study the face of the rock I was sitting on. “Your turn.”

“Uhm… What grade are you in?” I stuttered.

“I’m a senior.” He replied. “And I already know you’re a junior. Now… My turn, huh? Straight or gay?”

My heart jumped back up into my throat, and I had to choke it back down before I could answer. “Oh, um… I’m… gay.” I shied down into my hoodie, not meeting his eyes for a minute as I waited for him to laugh or jeer.

“Me too.” He replied quietly after a moment of silence, his eyes searching for mine. When I looked back up, when our eyes met, a spark of electricity seemed to jolt through my body. I wouldn’t show it, though, but this made my mental image of him at least 1000 times brighter than it was merely seconds ago.

“Oh… Okay.” I said breathily, nodding my head and looking down at the ground. I couldn’t really think of another question after that, my mind was white noise with the occasional grenade of “GERARD IS GAY” thrown in for a surprise. “That’s cool, I guess.”

He grunted in response, eyes still searching my face. “Can I ask another question?” I nodded. “Do you… Like me?”

I tried to pretend that I didn’t know what he meant. “Of course I like you, Gerard, everyone does. That’s why you have FRIENDS.”

“You know what I mean.” He said in a husky whisper that cut through the darkness like a warm knife through butter. “Like, do you… LIKE me?”

I nodded sheepishly, and then realized that he couldn’t even see me. “Well… Um… I guess, yeah.”

I heard the crunch of gravel under his shoes as he hopped off his rock and walked the short distance to mine, coming to sit beside me on the boulder. He sat there in silence for a minute, just sitting there inches to my right, his leg nearly touching mine. He grunted deep in his throat, and I could hear the smile hidden in it. Then, suddenly, I felt his hand just below the spot where it had been on the roller coaster, his fingers cold against the exposed skin of my thigh. His fingertips traced circles around the edges of the rip in my jeans as he mumbled under his breath, his voice deep and husky. “Cuz… I like you, Frankie.” Oh god. Him saying my name was a sound I wanted to hear every day, multiple times a day, in just that voice. It replayed in my head. “I like you, Frankie. I like you, Frankie. I like you, Frankie.” Over and over and over in my mind. I must have gasped in a breath, because his fingers were giving me goosebumps, and GOD DID I WANT TO KISS HIM, and Gerard, THE Gerard, liked ME, Frankie, the new kid. That one feeling screamed in my brain, but… I couldn’t bring myself to sit up straight and actually act on my feelings. I don’t know why. Sometimes being shy is a bitch, because you can’t do anything when you think of it. I was speechless at him saying that, and his last words hung in the air like smoke for a full minute before he spoke again. “Frankie?”

“Y… Yes?” I stammered, my voice lower than it normally was and huskier than I would have liked it to be.

“It’s getting kind of late… We should be getting back, or my mom will kill me.” He half-laughed. This was the most I’d ever heard him talk, and it was amazing, almost orgasmic, to listen to him just speak.

“Okay, yeah, home.” I said, my mind jumbling up what would have otherwise been a perfectly intelligible sentence. 

He kept tracing patterns into my skin with his rough forefinger, and then he slowly took his hand from my leg, sliding down the face of the rock. He grabbed my hand, pulling me down with him, and started walking back to the car, hand in hand, just like that. When we were going to have to let go of eachother at the front of his car, he pulled back on my hand to make me face him in the coddling darkness. I heard him draw in a shaky breath, and then he reached up and grabbed a fistful of my hair, pulling me to him as I felt his lips on mine, rough and tentative against my own, pressing my lip ring back into my skin. I was shocked, not knowing what to do for almost a full second before responding and kissing him back. He broke off our kiss and let go of my wrist and my hair before turning towards the driver’s side door and opening it, slumping into his car. I stood in shock for a moment before I remembered that I, too, needed to be in that car, and slid into his passenger seat. 

Back in the car, Mikey was still fast asleep in the back seat. Gerard didn’t say a word as he started the engine, turning on the headlights and rolling down the gravel road we had driven up. After almost 3 minutes of silent driving, Gerard was stopped at a red light and he turned to me. “Where do you live?” He asked, the gruffness returned to his voice as if he had forgotten about what we had done. 

“Oh, 2nd and Alameda. It’s the white house next to the corner.” I said, droning off our new address exactly as the real estate agent had told it to my mother. The light turned green and our silence ensued once again. My mind, however, was anything but silent. It was still working to piece together the day’s events into one tangible new reality, and it was failing miserably. What to think of Gerard? He was definitely the group badass, but he was gay – like me - and he liked ME. I mean, wow. I move in, I meet Gerard, I kiss Gerard, all in one day. He was already turning up Alameda to find the intersection with 2nd street by the time my thoughts gave up piecing everything together and returned to the present. “Thank you, Gerard.” I said out of the blue. 

“For what?” He asked, surprised. Honestly, I didn’t know why I’d even said it.

“For… everything. Today’s been awesome, Gerard, really.”

“Call me Gee.” He said gruffly, pulling up in front of my house, where my mother wasn’t even home yet. It was well past the 10:00 she had set for me, but she wouldn’t know.

“Okay… Gee.” I liked it. I liked the way it rolled off my tongue, almost naturally. “Goodnight?”

“Yeah.” He said. “I’ve got to take Mikey home, anyways.”

“Okay.” I said, opening the door to his car and preparing to step out. “Goodnight, then.”

“Wait.” He said forcefully, reaching out to grab the back of my hair again, pulling me back into the car and kissing me again, this time with more security. “Okay. Goodnight.”

I stepped out with a parting smile and a final “Bye, Gee,” and stood on the sidewalk, watching his taillights fade off into the distance before going into my new house. God, I’m such a girl.


	3. 003

Time jump… about 2 weeks later.  
Gerard hadn’t been at school in days. Sitting in math wasn’t the same without his sure, silent presence to my left, and I truly missed him. I asked Mikey where he was, but he only shrugged. “Dunno, Frankie, I rode the bus.” He replied, over and over and over. “He didn’t come home last night.” I couldn’t yell out how I wanted to see Gee again, how much he meant to me, because I hadn’t told anybody about that night. It’s kind of a secret, well, at least for now. But it’s a Thursday, and Gee hadn’t been here all week; surely someone was worried? No, apparently he did things like this all the time, disappearing and not showing up to school for days on end. But how could he do this to me? I couldn’t take much more of this, not without screaming to the world that I, wimpy little Frankie Iero, loved Gerard, and he wasn’t here, and that was stressing me out. I couldn’t tell anyone, but I’m sure Snippy – Snyper – knows. She has a way with knowing things like that.

I took my seat in morning math and set up my notebook, pencil, and calculator before closing my eyes and putting my head in my hands. I was about 6 minutes early, so I had time before anyone else came into the classroom. I heard the door creak open and then slam shut, and heavy footsteps came my way on the linoleum floor. I heard the squeak of a chair to my left, the heavy sigh as someone dropped into it. I picked up my head to come face-to-face with hoodie-clad Gerard, his hood hiding his face and his hands in his pocket. His head was turned away from me, so I couldn’t even get a glimpse of his face if I tried. “Gee?” I almost whispered, chewing on my lip ring. “Gerard, are you OK?”

“Yeah.” He mumbled, tugging his hood farther over his face with a bandaged hand. His hand was bandaged. Oh my god, he’s hurt.

“Gee, what’s wrong? What’s REALLY wrong?” I asked, a note of fear creeping into my voice.

“NOTHING, GODAMMIT, I’M FINE!” He roared, pushing his chair back and moving threateningly towards me. I flinched back in my chair, hands reflexively covering my face, eyes widening to show the fear that coursed through my body. Fear not only for what Gerard would do, but for why he was hurt. Gerard seemed to realize what he had done then, and he collapsed back into his chair, staring disbelievingly at his hands. “I… I’m sorry, Frankie.” He said, still hiding his face from me, this time, his head was in his hands. “Just don’t ask, okay? I’ll be fine.”

I stared at Gerard in shock for a moment. I swore he was about to hit me… I don’t even know what to think right now. I righted my posture in my chair and moved a hand to the side of his hood. “Let me see your face.” I said, caressing his ear through the fabric. “Gee, it’s okay. Let me see.”

He grimaced against my touch, but obligingly pulled back his hood. His face was a mat of bruises and dried blood, and he had a nasty gash across his forehead that had barely scabbed over. I reached a hand up to his face, thought better of it, and changed my hand’s course to his hands. “Oh my god, Gee, who did this to you? What happened?” I asked my eyes widened in disbelief. “Come with me, we’ve got to get you fixed.”

“No.” He said, taking my hand in his left one, the unbandaged one, and putting his hood back up. “I can’t go to the hospital.”

‘We’re not going there.” I said, standing up and attempting to pull Gee up with me. “My mom’s a nurse. She’s at work right now, but she’s got tons of medical stuff at home. We’re going to borrow it.”

Gerard stood up, too, and followed me out right before the other students walked in. It’s funny how seeing someone hurt takes away all my anxiety and shyness… I just kind of snap to action. His hand still in mine, we walked to his car and I sat in the driver’s seat. “There’s no way you’re driving like that.” I said, motioning for him to get into the passenger side. “Now… Let’s go.” I started his car and drove the quickest route to my house, pulled into my driveway, and led him up the stairs and to the back, into my bedroom. His eyes widened as we walked into my room, which was covered in posters for the Smashing Pumpkins and Green Day and the like, with a single picture of my family on my nightstand. I motioned to my bed. “Lay down. Is that cut on your head the only one?” He hesitated before he nodded. “You’re lying. Where’re the others? I’m going to get my mom’s kit.”

I ran back downstairs and grabbed my mom’s huge med kit, lugging it up the stairs again after me. It had to weigh at least 50 lbs., and that’s almost half as much as I weigh. I opened the door to my bedroom to find Gee on my bed, grimacing as he pulled his shirt off to reveal two more deep cuts that had obviously just stopped bleeding, and yet again more bruises. “I got into a fight…” He tried to explain.

“Gee, those are knife cuts.” I said, my eyes wide as I searched his chest and stomach for any signs of infection. The shock of seeing Gee half-naked on my bed hadn’t hit yet, but… There it was, in the back of my mind. I couldn’t be thinking like that right now, or I’d never get anything done here. I soaked the tip of a rag in rubbing alcohol and went to work cleaning his wounds as gently as I could. He hissed in pain as the alcohol hit his cut, and I grimaced at the thought that I had caused that pain. 

“I’m sorry, Frankie.” Gerard said in a flat voice that clearly said he was trying to keep up hit tough-guy ruse. “I’m sor-“

“Shh, Gee, it’s okay.” I said. I was mostly assuring myself that it was, in fact, okay. Gee already knew that. “It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay…” There were tears in my eyes as he clenched his fists against the covers of my bed, trying to block out the pain. I didn’t know what to really do about all of his bruises, but I cleaned his cuts as well as I could and went to work bandaging them. The two on his chest/stomach were fairly easy, but the tears in my eyes made it harder than it had to be. Damn my emotions, anyways. “There.” I said as I set the last bandage, running my hand gently over his chest. “It’s all okay now.”

“It doesn’t really hurt.” He seethed between his teeth, trying to keep the pain out of his voice. “Will… Will you call Mikey and tell him I’m alright?” I nodded. “Okay. Thank you, Frankie…” His deep voice, no matter how strained, calmed me down as he closed his eyes and winced against my blankets.

I left the room then, heading down the hall to call Mikey without disturbing whatever rest Gee could get. I knew they were probably in class, but this… this was important. He answered on the third ring. “Hello? I’m in class.” 

“Lie and tell the teacher that it’s your mother calling.” I said, a note of urgency creeping into my voice.

“Okay, just a second…” There was a muffled scratching as Mikey told the teacher. “Mr. Watkins? It’s my mother, I’m afraid I have to take this.” He walked out into the hallway before picking up the phone again. “Okay, what, Frankie?”

“It’s Gee, he’s… He’s hurt, Mikey. He’s beat up bad. Like, he got in a knife fight or something. He’s at my house for now, but…” tears clenched my throat. “I don’t know what to do after this! I mean, his cuts are all cleaned up and stuff now, but… He wanted to tell you that he’s okay.”

Mikey drew in a breath. “Tell him to stop fucking street fighting, Frank, it’s not good for him. I’ll be there as soon as I can cut out, okay? Maybe lunch. Text me your address.” He hung up then, without a goodbye.

Gerard’s a streetfighter?! What the hell was he thinking, fighting like this?! I sighed, shooting Mikey a quick text with directions to my house and then heading back to my bedroom, where Gerard had somehow managed to get under my blankets and prop his head up on my pillow. He was half-asleep when I opened the door, and looked up at me blearily. “F… Frankie?” He whispered, his words slurred with sleep.

“It’s all okay, Gee, Mikey knows.” I told him, sitting on the edge of the bed. “He’ll be here at lunch.”

Gee nodded, closing his eyes with a pained smile on his face. “You got any pain meds?” He asked sleepily, wincing as he tried to roll over to look at me.

I grabbed a bottle off my nightstand, shaking out what I figured would be a good dose for Gee, and handed them to him. “Here you go.” I said, also handing him a water bottle. “Take them and get some sleep, okay?”

He nodded, swallowing them easily and burrowing down into my pillow, trying not to crush any of his bandages as he did so, and letting out a little whimper of pain when he did. The tears that had been in my eyes before came back, and I grabbed his nonbandaged hand in both of mine, gently kissing his bruised cheek. Once he fell asleep (It was only a few minutes), I went downstairs to try and get some things done around the house. It was almost lunchtime, so I tried to eat a few of the pizza pockets that Mom had in the freezer, but I wasn’t hungry. If anything, I was queasy and sick with the thought of Gerard being so beaten up. I took a drink of water instead, and taped a note to the door for Mikey. “Unlocked. Upstairs, second door on right,” was all it said, and then I headed back up to my bedroom. 

I had a big enough bed where I could curl up on the opposite side of Gee, his back pressed to my stomach, and just lay there, trying not to hit on any of his bruises or cuts while I breathed in his scent. It wasn’t quite as relaxing when it was tinged with blood and antiseptic, but I could still smell the vanilla and coffee and cigarettes that I first smelled on the day of the carnival. I lay there for almost an hour, my eyes closed as I chewed at my lip ring and tried not to hurt Gerard any more, until I heard Mikey’s voice coming from downstairs. “Hello? Frank?”

I sighed, getting up as gently as I could and heading downstairs to meet Mikey at the head of the stairs. “He’s up here.” I said, going back up to my room, and opening the door for Mikey to come in. Gerard had rolled to his back since I left, and he was still in a restless sleep, Most of his bruises were covered by my blankets, but you could tell by Mikey’s reaction that this wasn’t the first time Gee had looked like this. “He’s been asleep for about an hour.”

Mikey nodded, moving closer to his brother and shaking his head. “You stupid ass,” He whispered lovingly. “I told you not to go out on Tuesday.”

Gerard, of course, couldn’t hear him, but I half-smiled. “So… He’s a streetfighter?” I asked hesitantly, my eyes never leaving Gee’s battered face.

“Yeah…” Mikey said sadly. “He likes it, I guess, and he’s good at it, but sometimes this happens and he won’t come home for a few days. Where’d you find him?”

“H… he came to school.” I said, shocked.

“Well, shit, I wonder why he’d do that.” Mikey said, rolling his eyes at me. “He wanted you to stop worrying yourself sick, probably. ‘Where’s Gerard? Where’s Gee?’ All day long, lover boy.” He smirked at my shocked face. “Yeah, we all kind of know about you two. Snippy ships you two. She calls it Frerard.”

I blushed, looking down, before hearing Gerard moan behind me, a moan full of dulled pain and aching wounds. I turned quickly to avoid Mikey’s smirk and to see if Gee was waking up. He opened his bleary eyes, his beautiful hazel eyes tinged with pain and sleep. “Frankie…” He whispered, smiling through cracked lips.

“Your brother’s here, too.” I said softly, going to sit by him on the empty edge of the bed. “Mikey came.”

Gee struggled to a half-sitting position to see Mikey. “Hey, Mikey.” He said, the top of his bandages showing above my comforter.

“Gerard.” Mikey answered, his eyes cold and pitying. “I told you to stop. You said you would.”

“Sorry, Mikes.” Gee hoarsely whispered. “I might’ve lied.”

“Maybe.” Mikey said, rolling his eyes. “But I’m glad you’re alive, y’know? Glad you’re in one piece.”

“Yeah.” Gerard tried to laugh. “I’m mostly whole.” His hazel eyes locked with mine, sending the butterflies straight back to my stomach, even in his weakened state. “Thanks to Frankie, I’m okay.”

Mikey nodded, looking between the two of us before taking a step towards the door. “I’ve got to get back to class. I’ll let the guys know you’re okay, okay?” He said, running a hand through his slicked-back hair.

“Mmkay.” Gerard mumbled, his hand having found mine. Mikey nodded to me before leaving the room, shutting my door behind him with a soft click. “Frankie?” Gee whispered. “Will you stay here?”

I smiled, nodding. “Yeah, I’ll stay.” I said, lying next to him on the bed, my form small next to his. “Don’t go fighting again, okay?”

Gerard mumbled something, trying to turn over to face me. Once he got turned, he kissed my nose through chapped and bleeding lips. “I can’t promise that.”

And just like that, he was asleep. Again. With me lying next to him, worried but content.


	4. 004

It was later in the day, after school, and Ray, Bob, Snyper, and Mikey had all texted or called to inquire on Gerard’s condition. I told them all the same thing: He’ll be okay, just give it time. I spent most of the afternoon curled up next to him in bed, my legs intertwining with his and my hand carefully on his hip, until I heard a car’s tires stop in front of my house. I gently extracted myself from Gee to get up and look out the window: My mother. She puzzled at the car in the driveway, and then headed up to the door, coming inside. “Frankie?” she called, hanging up her keys and nurse’s badge. “Frankie, where are you?”

I walked down the stairs quietly in my sock feet, coming into the entry with pain in my eyes. “Mom… Remember Gerard?”

“Of course, honey!” She said, a worried smile on her face. “What’s wrong? Why’s there blood on your cheek?”

I wiped at my cheek self-consciously, but the blood was dried there, and all it did was come off in flakes. Gee’s blood. It made me sick to my stomach. “He’s here, Mom, Gerard’s here.” I said, glancing towards the stairs. “And he’s hurt. Don’t freak out, okay? Will you come and look?”

Her eyes flew wide open and she nodded, following me up to my bedroom. I opened the door with a look back at her, still dressed in her scrubs, and then set my gaze on the sleeping Gerard. You couldn’t see too many of his bruises yet, but the ones you could see were swollen and purple-blue. “Oh my god.” Mom breathed, coming into my room with a hand to her mouth. “Oh my god, Frankie, oh my god. How long has he been here?”

“I skipped school to help him.” I said, tears biting at the corners of my eyes as I sat on the edge of the bed next to him, taking his sleep-limp hand in my own. “So, since maybe 8:15?”

“And what happened?” She asked, her nursely attitude coming back with a bang as she surveyed what I’d done to him already.

 

“Knife fight, and he didn’t have a knife.” I said, my lower lip trembling. “He’s okay, though… right?”

“Oh, honey…” Mom said, pulling my comforter gently back to assess his chest. “I don’t know, he’s awfully hurt.”

Just then, Gerard rolled over in bed and started waking up. He winced in pain, whimpering as he opened his eyes. When his eyes focused, the first thing he saw was my mother standing over him, her mousy brown hair pulled back in a bun and shock in her eyes. “Holy shit!” Gerard yelped, obviously a little more than surprised at her being there. When he jumped back in bed, he hit all sorts of bruises and cuts together, and he whimpered in pain, sucking on his lower lip for a moment before speaking. “Mrs.… Mrs. Iero. Hi.” He smiled weakly. “I’m Gerard.”

“I know who you are, honey, now lay back down.” She said, taking command. She gently lowered his head back to the pillows. “Everything’ll be alright.”

“Frankie told me that…” He mumbled, pulling the comforter back over his chest with his left arm. 

Mom smiles, turning to me. “He’s right” She said, her voice stressed but silky smooth. “You’re okay, Gerard.” She then turned to me. “Frankie, maybe we should call his parents…”

“No!” Gee said with as much force as he could muster. “Don’t… Don’t worry my Mom… Okay?” He closed his eyes. “I’ll be okay, Frankie said. I believe Frankie.”

Mom looked between the two of us questioningly. “He’s on pain meds.” I answered, with a little smile on my face. “But I did say he’ll be alright.”

Mom laughed. “Of course you did.” She said, a little smile on her face. “Take care of him, Frankie, but if he gets any worse, I’ll call his mother. I’m going to try and make us all some food.”

I nodded my agreement and she left the room, leaving me to lay back down with Gee. I snuggled back up to him, my legs intertwined with his and my hand gently on his hip, and he moaned a weak smile. “Thank you, Frankie.” He said as I nuzzled carefully into his neck.

“Anything,” I replied, my lips just above his ear, “Anything for my Gee.”

It was almost 10 minutes until Mom came back up with a tray of tea and soft foods. She knocked, opening the door and acting not the least bit surprised to see me cuddled up around Gerard’s bruised frame. “Be careful not to hurt him any worse.” Mom scolded me, setting the food on my nightstand.

“He’s not hurting me, Mrs. Iero.” Gee mumbled, trying to smile, and making a sentimental fool out of himself because of the pain medicine he was on. “I’m glad Frankie’s here for me. He’s helped me a lot.”

Mom let out a little laugh, smiling at us both. “Okay then, boys, I’ll be downstairs.” She said, gently putting a hand on Gee’s forehead before leaving. 

“You hungry?” I whispered, pulling myself up to a half-sitting position.

He moaned as he tried to face me. “Not really…” He half-whispered back, pain flashing in his eyes. “I should call my Mom.” I nodded, pulling his cell phone out of his hoodie pocket and handing it to him. He mumbled a thanks, opening his eyes just enough to see his screen and select his mom from his contact list. He pressed call, and she answered on the first ring. “Hi, Mom.” Gerard said into the phone, trying to talk normally so as not to worry his mother any farther. “I’m okay.”

“Oh my god, Gerard, baby, where are you?!” I heard his mom squeak from the phone.

“I’m with friends, I’m alright.” He said, half-smiling even though his mother couldn’t see it. “I’ll try to come home soon.”

“You’ve been fighting again.” She said in a flat voice so quiet that I could barely hear. “I told you to stop fighting.”

“Yeah, so did Mikey and Frank.” Gee mumbled. “I don’t know anymore, Mom, I tried to stop.” He was tearing up – again. Today was one of the few times I’d ever seen him display this much emotion or talk this much. “But they found me again, the Bitchcatchers did, and… Never mind. I’m okay.”

He cleared his throat, his Adam’s apple bobbing while his mom talked back. I didn’t bother to hear what she was saying, though. I leaned down and stroked Gee’s hair out of his face, kissing the only non-bruised spot on his body – This tiny patch on the side of his neck. So I kissed his neck and he sighed, closing his eyes and reaching a hand up to my head, resting it on the side of my face. “I’ve got to go, Mom, okay? I’ll be home soon.” A pause. “Yeah, love you too. Okay, bye.” And he hung up, turning to try and kiss me through his bruised and cut lips. He recoiled as soon as his lips touched mine, his hand going to his mouth and wiping away some blood from a cut. “Sorry, Frankie.” He whispered, smiling sadly up at me. “I’m kind of useless right now.”

“You’re never useless, Gee.” I said, leaning down to kiss his neck again, then smiling at him from inches above his face. “Never. Now, tell me what happened.”

Gee sighed, resting his head back on the inside of my thigh. “I promised Mikey I wouldn’t fight anymore, I had stopped. It was hard, let me tell you, but I did it for Mikes. And then… Well, I was walking home from the train station, and that area of town gets sketchy past maybe 6:45 at night, and… Well, I ran into the Bitchcatchers.”

“Who’re they?” I asked, hating to interrupt his story.

“It’s a local gang, a girl’s gang. They’re the Bitchcatchers, like the dogcatchers, y’know? But girl dogs. Bitches. They’ve even got dogfights. Er, they’ll pay you to come in and fight their girls. Every one of them girls is ten times as tough as any normal girl, and… Well, I’ve got a thing against hitting girls. My father…” He paused for a minute before cutting off that tangent and returning to his story. “But their leader, they call her Pug, she found me walking home alone, and then there were maybe six or seven of her girls on me, and they had knives…” Gee shook his head, his voice growing thick as he turned up to me. “And I couldn’t hit them, Frankie, I couldn’t goddamned hit them. I couldn’t bring myself to fight back, because every time I looked at them, I saw my mother, or I saw Snippy, and… And I… I just…” He stopped talking, turning into my stomach for a moment and taking a deep breath. “I couldn’t.” He finished, talking through my Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt. 

I tangled a hand in his hair, kissing his forehead gently. “It’s okay, Gee, you did the right thing.” I said, petting his hair and pushing it back from his face so he’d look up at me. “It’s all okay.”

“No, it’s not.” He said, still talking into my shirt. “My reputation is gone. I let the Bitchcatchers get me, what next? When I go out again, there’ll be guys all over me, and I won’t be able to stop it. I’ll have to fight.”

“It’s okay, you’ll be able to do something about it then.” I said softly, leaning back against my headboard.

“Stop telling me it’s fucking okay.” Gee seethed. “It’s not okay, I’m not o-fucking-kay.”

My eyes snapped open at the bitterness of his voice, and he stubbornly struggled into a sitting position, twisting to look at me. “It’s okay Gee, it’s okay!” He mimicked, his eyes flashing. “It’s not okay, Frankie, I could have fucking died. It’s not okay.” He grabbed his hoodie, struggling into it while hissing in pain, and slipping on his Vans, slamming my bedroom door on his way down the stairs. I sat there, shocked for a moment as I could hear the muffled voices of my mom and Gerard, and the front door slamming, his feet on the gravel, his car’s engine roaring to life and speeding away.

 

What had I done wrong?


	5. 005

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current Vibe: wtf why does life exist? why is the sun so bright? can it leave?  
> And, sorry for the major hiatus, some shit went down and some tables turned, but I'm back, and that's all that matters.

Gerard wasn’t at school the next day (a Friday), or the Monday after that, and Mikey was abnormally quiet. Every time I saw him, he was looking at the ground or studying something out the window, his eyes becoming brooding and dark, just like Gerard’s, and that was worrying me. On top of a thousand other things. God, I need to stop worrying. Bob, Snippy, Mikey, Ray and I met up in the quad for lunch on the 2nd day of Gerard’s disappearance as we always did, but there was a hushed atmosphere over the group. “I miss him.” Ray said quietly, breaking our awkwardly muffling blanket of silence.

“We all do, Ray.” Snyper said comfortingly, half-smiling at the ground. “It’s not the same, even if he never did talk very much.”

I was about to say something before I realized: Gerard usually talked the most TO ME. Of course everyone else hadn’t heard him say much. He was always drawing. I sat on the edge of a picnic bench, my feet dangling over the edge and not quite touching the ground, staring at my shoes. I kicked my feet back and forth, swinging them through the air like a little kid, scrunched up in my sweater. “Frank hasn’t said much, either.” Bob mused, staring at me from where he leaned against Gerard’s tree. “You miss him too, little guy?”

“Of course I do.” I replied quietly, chewing on my lip ring. “I… I just don’t know. I’ve tried calling him.”

“We all have.” Ray said, studying his cell phone glumly. 

“But still.” I hadn’t told anyone about him driving off in a huff, hurt and pissed and bandaged and barely able to walk, but it was burned into the front of my mind. What had I done wrong? I had just been trying to help, and… Well, he blew up at me. All I could see was his sparkling hazel eyes turning into the rage I had seen in the classroom and then later in my own house. Gerard wasn’t like that… was he? I hadn’t really known him very long, but still. You’d think that being as close as we are, he’d, y’know… Be a little more open. 

“I haven’t even seen a trace of him since that day at your house.” Mikey said, running a hand through his long dirty-blond hair and staring up at the sky with those brooding hazel eyes that mimicked the ones I loved. “What happened when he left, Frankie?”

I clammed up for a moment, staring at my scuffed Vans swinging above the pavement. “I… I don’t really know.” I mumbled before clearing my throat and continuing. “He got mad at me, and he started yelling at me, and he just… left. I don’t know where he would’ve gone.”

“Shit, Frankie, how was he mad at YOU?” Mikey wondered, his eyes wide. “What’d you do?”

“I told him it was alright, and he’d be okay.”

Ray coughed in the background. “*Coughcoughfrankie’sgerard’sbitchcough*”

“Shut up, Ray.” Mikey said, glaring at him and for that one moment, looking just like his brother. “We’re being serous. Gerard could be hurt somewhere. I only know one place he’d go… It’s in sketchy territory, though. It’s an old gang hideout of his.”

“Let’s go, then!” Bob said, standing up and motioning towards the others.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Mikey also stood, offering Snyper his hand and gesturing at me. “I’ll show you where it is.”

I nodded, and Ray skipped along behind us, his usually-bubbly attitude half subdued. We snuck to the bottom parking lot where Bob had parked and all loaded into his car. “Alright, Mikey.” He said. “Where to?”

“The wharf, the farthest back warehouse, the abandoned one. Number 1137.” Mikey said grimly.

Bob hesitated. “I don’t really wanna go back there…” He said begrudgingly, pulling out towards the river anyways. 

We drove along in silence for a while, Mikey pointing out turns and stuff every so often, and Ray making stupid little comments about things we saw. I memorized the route we took, not knowing how many times I’d have to come out here to pick up Gerard in the future, or if I’d ever have to see the wharf again. A fleeting thought crossed my mind of the trouble I’d be in at school, leaving in the middle of the day like this, but I quickly shook it and went back to staring out the backseat window. It took about 10 minutes to drive there, and maybe another 4 of slow driving to get close enough to the warehouse. Bob turned his car off about 10 warehouses away, so we could walk up and hopefully not scare Gerard off. This was definitely a ghetto part of town, not somewhere you wanted to be caught. We walked to 1137 in silence, our feet making little scuffling sounds on the boards of the dock. Bob knocked lightly on the door. “Party Poison?” He called softly, obviously reminiscent of old times. “Gerard, are you here?” He opened the door, the hinges’ squeaks catcalling through the silence, and he stepped softly into the old building. “Gerard, it’s Bob and everyone. If you’re here, come out.”

There was a muffled, weak groan from the far corner. “I told you not to call me that anymore. I’m not Party Poison.” Gerard’s voice said, fragile in its deepness, somehow frail. “If Frankie’s here, don’t let him in.” I stood at the door in shock. Why couldn’t I come in? “Mikey?” Gerard called. “Far left corner. Come here. I… I need… I guess I do need help.”

Bob’s eyes flew wide open when Gerard admitted to needing help. He mouthed “Stay here,” at me before going in with everyone else. I sat on an old tire at the edge of the warehouse, staring at my shoes. Was Gerard still so mad at me that he didn’t even want to see me? His car was parked around the side of the warehouse, covered with at least a day’s dust and grime from sitting so close to the flying water. I got up and ran a finger through its dirt, carving a big X across the back taillight with my index finger. I could hear muffled voices inside, every so often pierced with a squeak from Snyper, but I didn’t even bother listening in. I was numb, numb with the feeling of desperate loneliness and abandon. Why was Gerard so mad at me? I still didn’t understand, I truly didn’t, but I didn’t care to anymore. My heart felt… empty, void of emotion as I stare out across the water, and I didn’t hear Snyper behind me until she touched my shoulder. “Hey.” She said softly, smiling. “He knows you care, Frankie.” 

I shook my head, biting back words choked with hate and love and sadness and anger and opting for the more pleasant, quiet option. I just kept staring out at the waves on the river, the bobbing fishing vessel close to the other shore. Snyper put her arms around my neck, giving me a silent hug from behind, resting her chin on my shoulder. She stayed like this for a long minute before she let go of me and came around to face me. “He’ll be alright.”

“Don’t tell him that.” I seethed quietly. “I did, and now he fucking hates me.”

“Oh, Frankie, he could never hate you.” She said softly, almost giggling. “Gerard… He’s got a weird way of showing emotions, that’s all.”

“Oh, that makes me feel SO much better.” I said scathingly, rolling my eyes and pulling up my sweater’s hood. “He’s just ACTING like he hates me cuz he actually doesn’t. So much better.”

“Frankie, this isn’t you.” Snyper said, looking me straight in the eyes. “Don’t be mad at him, okay? He’s been through a lot. Ray, Bob, and Mikey are gonna bring him out to our car, and you and I are going to follow them in Gerard’s. Will you drive it?”

I nodded, returning to silence as I peered inside Gee’s driver-side window. He had left the keys hidden in the push-in coffee cup holder thing, as always, so I opened the door and slipped into his seat. This all felt so wrong for some reason. I was in Gerard’s car, and he wasn’t here, and Snippy was here instead. And I was driving. Again. I saw Bob close the back door to his car, getting into the driver’s seat and tapping his brake lights twice at me, signaling to follow him. I turned the ignition, and the car roared to life. Just hearing the engine gave me memories of Gerard’s smile, and I shook them stubbornly from my head, following Bob with an expressionless face. Snyper and I drove in silence, following Bob without a thought to where we were going. I only started to piece it together as we turned onto the main street, heading towards the hospital. Gerard’s protest flashed through my mind then, his telling me that he couldn’t go to the hospital, and I could almost hear it coming from Bob’s car ahead of us. It was just as we were turning onto Main that I realized what music was playing in his stereo – My Smashing Pumpkins mix CD. My stomach lurched, thinking of how he’d drove off, pissed at me and listening to my own mix CD left in his stereo, probably digging his anger deeper. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. He’s gonna hate me. I pulled into the hospital parking lot after Bob, after Mikey and Ray had carried Gerard through the ER doors, and I ran in after them with Snyper at my heels. Everyone was in the lobby, crowding around the side of the room where you could watch the fish tank and the TV at the same time. Ray sat laid back in his chair, his expression clouded with worry. Mikey and Bob sat with their elbows on their knees, studying the floor until I walked in, taking a seat across from them and not saying a word. Snyper came in, sitting next to Mikey, and ran a hand over his arm quietly. “They took him back to the ER doctor.” Bob said in his low voice. “He’s awfully beat up, Frankie.”

“Why should I fucking care?” I seethed, every word I said ripping what was left of my heart to shreds. Everyone looked up at me, surprised, and I kept on. “He obviously hates me. He didn’t even want to fucking see me when we found him!”

Mikey and Bob kept quiet, their eyes wide at my hurtful words, but they didn’t say anything back. I pulled my hood back up to where my face was shaded and looked down at the floor, tears forming in my eyes and choking my throat. The last time I’d seen Gerard replayed over and over in my head, the anger in his eyes as he limped haughtily away, slamming my door behind him. If that wasn’t playing in my head, his outburst before class was, when I swore that he was about to hit me before he backed off, sitting back down in his desk and staring at his hands questioningly. It was easy to piece together the truth, that obviously he hated me, I’d been his plaything of the week, but no more. We waited in silence for a long while, the droning of the TV behind me cancelling out any murmurs and little words said by anyone else in the office. The buzz of low conversation was blocked out in my mind as I silently cried, crying for myself, for what I had said, for what little was left of my heart, and, oddly enough, for Gerard. I still loved him, that bastard, but it wasn’t the same unguarded love I had felt merely a week ago. I loved him, yes, but I also hated him with a passion. I’m such a girl, I swear.

An orderly came out of the back room where they had, evidently, taken Gerard. “Will the family of Gerard A. Way please come here?” She asked, scanning the few people who were strung throughout the waiting room. We all stood up simultaneously, shuffling to the surprised-looking orderly. “Well… he’s stable, but those are some nasty wounds he’s got. Would you tell me what happened, do you know?”

Everyone looked over at me, but my eyes never left the floor. “Gang-related.” I said simply, my voice coming out thick and raspy.

The orderly nodded sympathetically, before continuing her speech. “He’s awake, though, if you’d all like to come back and see him.”

We all mechanically followed the orderly through the clean double-doors, walking down a long white hallway to room 137, which was only fitting. It was one number, one measly 1, off from being the number of his warehouse. She opened the door and let us into a bright white-and-chrome room, with Gerard, his bruised face and shoulders and grimy black hair sticking up from the covers of his hospital bed. An IV was stuck in his arm, and the steady beeping of a heart monitor filled the eerie silence of the room. I sat in a chair on the far-side of the room as everyone crowded around Gerard, asking him questions which he only gave one-word answers and grunts in response to. I tuned it all out, again staring at the floor. This one was creamy white ceramic tiles. Everyone gradually left the room, first Bob, and then Snyper, and Ray and Mikey, leaving me and Gerard alone in the ghastly white room. He rustled in the sheets, and I could feel his powerful hazel eyes boring into my skull, trying to flip my black hair back so he could see my face. “Frankie.” He said softly, and with that one word, all my buried emotion came rushing back to the surface. 

“Gerard.” I replied quietly, my eyes wondering from the floor to the corner of the wall opposite the room from him, still not bringing myself to look at him.

“I told you to call me Gee.” He said, his voice soft and tired.

I didn’t respond, my eyes wondering to the ceiling and it’s – you guessed it – white paint. He didn’t talk and neither did I for maybe 5 minutes, my eyes wondering all around the room but never on him and his eyes boring a hole in my skull. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I returned my eyes to my shoes and let out a deep sigh. “What’d I do?” I asked, sounding very small.

“You didn’t.” Gerard said, sounding a bit surprised. “You didn’t do anything.”

I shook my head, finally permitting myself to look at him. His bruises and cuts were swollen, all black and blue and ghastly shades of green, and the sight almost made me sick to my stomach, but I stayed in my seat. “Then why’re you mad at me?”

“I’m not.”

Those two words good spoke fathoms to me, leaving me speechless. He’s… not mad? Then what the fuck’s been up lately? He saw the look of puzzlement on my face and half-smiled, that one-sided smile that had melted my heart since day 1. He didn’t say anything, and neither did I for quite a while, just staring at eachother, me in shock, him half-smiling. “Then what the fuck?” 

I suppose there were nicer ways to word it, but that’s the first thing that slipped out of my mouth. Gerard chuckled deep in his throat, shifting his position in bed to see me better. “Honestly? I don’t know, Frankie.”

And that’s all he had to say. I got up, practically running across the room and giving him the gentlest, most meaningful hug I’d ever given anyone. He smiled, trying to hug me back but getting tangled in his IV and heart monitor cords. Just as I released him, smiling, the orderly knocked and opened the door, finding me with a hand on his chest and one on the spot I already knew wasn’t bruised, on his neck. She did a double take, surprise on her face as she saw us, before regaining her composure. “Mister, visiting hours are about to end.” She said quietly, still taking me and Gee in.

“He’s not visiting.” Gee said, a smirk in his voice. “He’s finding out when you’re letting me out of this hell-hole.”

“I am?” I asked before quickly getting what he wanted me to do. “I am.” I said with more affirmation, which made Gerard laugh.

“Well…” The orderly mumbled, pushing up her oval glasses. “He could be let out tomorrow morning, at the earliest.”

“Great.” I said, giving her a funny smile. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning to get him.” Before I left, I gave Gee a kiss on the forehead. “Bye… Gee.” I mumbled into his hair, smiling.

“Bye, Frankie.” He mumbled back as I pulled away from him, obeying the orderly and leaving.

When I got back out into the lobby, nobody was there. They left a note on the hood of Gee’s car, though, and it read “We left. Take Gerard’s car home. ~Bob and Snyper and Mikey and Ray”

I smiled, slipping into the driver’s seat and starting the engine, driving home after a long day spent worrying and hating and loving and worrying some more. I’m such a girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone even reading this? Comments/kudos are appreciated. I love you all, and if you have time, send a little good luck my way. c:  
> ~xoxomika


	6. 006

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current Vibe: two chapters in a day woot love me  
> Hahah this one's short but here you go

Well, home was hell when I got back. I parked Gee’s car on the corner and walked to my house, up the steps and opened the door quietly. I had barely made it past the entry mat when my mom rushed in, her eyes wide. “Frank Iero!” She scolded, hands on her hips. “Where have you been?!” 

“At the hospital.” I said, using the shock that caused to pass by her and up the stairs, to my room. I sat on the edge of my bed, counting the seconds until my door was opened again by Mom.

Eight. It was eight seconds. “The hospital?” Mom said, seemingly unfazed by the door, not yet understanding. “What’s at the hospital? Today’s my day off, I wasn’t at the hospital! Do you know how worried I’ve been?!”

“Gerard.” I said. “Gerard’s at the hospital, Mom, and we all went to visit him after school.” I hated lying to my mother like this, but she’d absolutely kill me if she knew where I’d really been. “He’s being released tomorrow. I’ve got his car, and I’m picking him up tomorrow morning.” 

Her eyes flew wide at the mention of Gerard’s name, her hands going back to her hips. “And why hadn’t you called me about this?”

“Phone died.”

She nodded slowly. “Honey, I’m not sure being close to Gerard is any good for you…” She said softly, slowly, dangerously. “He’s kind of…”

“Kind of what, Mom?” I said, stating to get tired of her being so pushy all the time. “A bad influence? Are you worried about your poor ickle Frankie boy?”

I’d struck a nerve, I know I had, and I truly hadn’t meant it. It made me sick to my stomach to say it, and it made me even sicker to watch her face pale as she walked out of the room and back down the stairs without another word. Shit. Shitshitshit. What have I done this time?

I sat on the edge of my bed, too numb to move for a moment until my kicking feet ran across something soft halfway under my bed. I reached down to grab it, my hands closing around a t-shirt… Gee’s t-shirt, his Green Day t-shirt, pushed under my bed after the incident on Thursday. I brought it to my face, breathing in his smell before pushing it away in horror. 

It still smelled like his blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/kudos are always appreciated, as usual. I'm going through a hard time, and hearing your guys's opinions always makes me smile c:


	7. 007

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current Vibe: When Frank Iero declared himself a lesbian, cuz he only dates girls now.

The next day, a Tuesday, I skipped school again, snuck out of the house early, and went to pick up Gee from the hospital. Mikey had stopped by late last night, after Mom had already gone to bed, and dropped off a change of his clothes for me to bring him. “I can’t come with you,” he explained. “I’ve already skipped too much school to miss another day this month. Where are you going to take him after you get him?”

“Back home, I guess.” I had said, not having really thought about it much before now.

“Good.” Mikey answered. “Mama’s been worried sick.” And, with that, he walked off back into the night, disappearing before I could say another word.

His clothes now lay in a plastic sack on the passenger-side floorboard, and I drove along with the buzz of The Smashing Pumpkins mixtape in the background. I don’t know why this felt like such a huge thing, picking him up from the hospital like this, but it felt monumental for some reason, like an egg not to be dropped. I drove in nervous silence to the hospital, finding a parking spot and checking the time. Barely 8:00 AM. Good, 8:00 AM was when release hours started, so I wouldn’t make him wait around for too long. I walked in the main doors, his clothes in my hand, and asked a receptionist in a stammering voice where I could get a patient released. “Oh, you see that desk over there?” She asked, pointing to one almost hidden around the corner. “Right over there.”

“Thank you.” I said, walking over with her questioning eyes boring into my skull. When I got to the desk, a man was sitting behind it, his nose in a book. “Uhm… Excuse me?” I asked shyly. “I’m here to pick up a patient?”

“Yes?” He said in a drawn-out, nasally voice. “What’s the patient’s name?”

“Gee- Er, Gerard Way.” I said. “He was admitted yesterday? To room 137?”

“Yes, I see him in the records. Let’s send you and Nurse Dahlia up there to get him, yes?” He said, motioning to a young, black-haired nurse to lead me up there. 

I followed her into an elevator as she pressed the big, round button 2. She was quiet for a long moment before talking in a low, sweet voice. “He’s a tough patient, Gerard is. What’s a boy like you coming to pick him up for?”

“He’s my…” I hesitated for a moment. What was he to me? He’s not just my friend, but boyfriend sounded too… sure. “He’s mine.” I settled on instead. God, I sounded like an idiot.

“Like, your brother, or…?”

“No, just mine.” I smiled up at her with this ‘Don’t ask any more questions’ look and she nodded slowly.

“So, your… boyfriend?”

“I don’t know just yet.” I said quietly, staring at my shoes again. The elevator door opened to the second floor, and I stepped out into the horribly white hallway. “Let’s go get him.”

She was quiet the rest of our short walk, and when we reached his door, I cut in front of her and knocked before she could. “Gee?” I called. “Gee, it’s Frankie, are you awake?”

I opened the door, stepping inside to see his smiling face looking up at me from the pillows, a huge flow of gauze and bandages covering his forehead. “Frankie!” He said, sounding genuinely happy. “Are we getting out of here now? Cuz I sure as hell wanna get out of here.”

“Yeah, we’re getting out of here.” I said, a smile on my face. “Mikey gave me some clothes to bring you.” I handed him the plastic sack as he swung his legs out of the bed, Nurse Dahlia rushing over to unhook his heart monitor and IV. “How was it in here?”

“Horrible.” He said, still half-smiling. “The nurses aren’t even hot!” He seemed to realize there was a nurse in the room, and turned to her. “Except for you, of course, Dahlia. I had Fritos for dinner, though, so that’s a plus.”

“That’s good.” I said, laughing as he took the bag of clothes from me and Dahlia stepped outside the door. He limped over to the large bathroom in the corner of his room and shut the door behind him to change. I sighed. I was really tired… I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night between rendezvous-ing with Mikey and worrying for Gee, and I was thoroughly exhausted. I lay back crossways on his hospital bed, my legs dangling off the edge and my arms spread out like a cross, closing my eyes and listening for the click of him coming back into the room. That click didn’t come for almost five minutes, and when it did, I sat up and opened my eyes to watch Gee limp the short distance across the room to me, his hair wet and hidden under his hoodie once again, his black skinny jeans ripped at the knee and the thigh. It was honestly good to see him semi-normal again, except for the huge wads of gauze that lay underneath all his clothes. “So, home?” I asked him.

“Yep.” He agreed as I jumped off the bed to open the door and step out into the hallway. Gerard followed close behind me, the unsteady rhythm of his footfalls combining with my own the only noise in the hallway as we walked back to the front desk, where we both signed to check him out and walked back to his car. I slipped into the driver’s seat with a questioning look from Gee. “What’re you doing?” He asked suspiciously.

“You’re not driving, not like that.” I said with a wry smile. “You never know how many pain drugs they put you on!”

Gee laughed. “You worry too much.” But he slipped into the passenger seat anyways as I started up the engine and backed out of the parking spot. 

It was only a short drive to his house, maybe about 10 minutes, and we went most of the way without talking, just like old times. Hah, those old times were only 3 weeks ago, but they seemed ages ago. Gee tapped his fingers on the armrest to the beat of the song, staring out the window or at the road ahead of us for most of the ride, until I turned the nose of his Honda into the residential district up on the hill. As soon as I did, a flicker passed over his eyes and he got that damn half-smile on his face again, letting his hand fall off the armrest and onto my thigh, tracing circles over the rip in my jeans. I sucked in a breath, at first surprised at his touch, his fingers turning electric circles over my leg. I let out a nervous, high giggle. “You’re gonna distract me, Gee.” I said, my voice coming out huskier than I’d like it to.

Gerard chuckled. “You’re always distracting me,” He said. “Why can’t I distract you for a change?”

“Because I’m driving, and trying my hardest not to crash your car.” I said, trying to keep my eyes from wondering off the road.

“Concentrate then.” He smirked.

God, Gee isn’t really helping me here. I almost moaned when he took his hand off my leg again, but luckily, I have more self-control than that, and I just sighed. Okay, maybe it was a loud sigh. I turned towards his house and had just gotten used to his hand being gone when there it was again, tracing circles in the rip in my thigh. I gasped, his cold fingers against my leg sending electricity through my body, and I pulled over in the middle of an abandoned alleyway. “I can’t drive like that.” I said, looking Gee straight in the eyes. He was smirking again, his hand still on my thigh. He didn’t say anything, just smirking at me as I tried my hardest to glare-pout at him without smiling. “God, Gee.” I said quietly. 

“You know you like it.” He purred, resuming the circle-tracing just to watch my reaction. 

I put my hand over his, pulling it away from my leg and intertwining my fingers with his. “I’ve got to get you home.” I said, avoiding answering him because, in truth, I loved it, but I couldn’t bring myself to say that to Gerard. Not yet.

We drove the last few blocks to his house in silence, his hand strong around my smaller one but his attitude changed, more subdued, and he didn’t try going for my leg again. We pulled up in front of his house just in time to see Mikey walk out, a smile on his face. He opened the wrought iron gate to step out onto the sidewalk as I parked, opening Gee’s door. “Gerard!” He crowed, grinning and patting Gee on the back, which made him wince in pain. “You’re home!”

“I know I’m home, idiot.” He said affectionately, rolling his eyes at his little brother. “Where’s Mom?”

“Inside. She’s been awfully worried for you.” Mikey gestured back towards the house. “You wanna come in, Frank?”

“Oh, uhm… Okay.” I said, smiling. Gerard smirked at me again over his brother’s shoulder, and I playfully glared at him, following the Way brothers up their front steps. 

“Hey, Mom, Gerard’s home!” Mikey called out as he walked in the door, kicking a shoe out of the walkway. 

“Oh my god, Gerard!” she almost sang, running around the corner. She was a shorter woman with greying hair, on the borderline between fit and plump, with the same brooding hazel eyes that Gerard had. “Oh… Oh my god, are you OK?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He said, wincing as she caught him up in a rib-crushing hug. “Hey, Mom? This is Frankie.”

His mother seemed to notice me for the first time, letting go of Gerard to turn to me. “My, you’re even shorter than I am!” She laughed, looking me up and down, mostly down. “I’m Mama Way. Nice to meet you, Frankie.”

I smiled, stuttering again. “H… Hi, Mama Way.” 

She grinned. “A shy one, huh? It’s okay, darling, I don’t bite.” She turned back to her boys, herding them into the living room where Gerard flopped on the couch and Mikey sat in a chair across from him. I sat in the spare space on the couch by Gerard’s head, and he scooted up to rest his head on my lap. Mama Way sat in another chair, near Mikey, and did a double take when she saw how me and Gee were seated. “Oh… Oh my. Gerard, dear, are you two…?”

Gee smiled, looking up at me. “I think so.” He said, his voice softening as he met my eyes. “Are we?”

“I think we are.” I replied, smiling softly.

Mama Way grinned. “Alright, then! Frankie, Gerard, you must be starving. Want some pizza pockets?”

“I’m starving, TOO, Mom.” Mikey yelled after her as she disappeared into the kitchen.

“Yes, yes, you always are, Mikey.” She called back with such a high level of patience in her voice that both Gee and I chuckled. “Pizza rolls for everyone!”

I glanced up at the clock. “Why aren’t you in school, Mikey?” I asked, looking at him with a puzzled expression on my face. “You said you couldn’t skip.”

“I’m sick.” He said, smirking. “Can’t you tell? I’ve heard that there’s a nasty bug going around.”

“God, Mikey, shaping up to be just like me.” Gerard laughed.

“Only the best.” He said, just as Mama Way walked back into the room, dusting her hands off on her jeans.

She sat down in her chair across from us, smiling distractedly. “Gerard, darling, don’t fight again, okay?” She said, sounding tired. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, I can’t watch it anymore.”

He sighed, opening his eyes. “I’ve been trying to get out of it, Mom.” He said, his voice going back rough and deep, the way it was when I met him, the way it was when he was annoyed or guarded. “It’s not that easy to get away from everyone, and now Pug’s out for my blood again.”

She shook her head, remaining quiet. Gerard sighed, rolling over to his side and whimpering quietly as he did it, his head still in my lap. I absentmindedly tangled a hand in his hair, gently running my fingers through it as I studied their cozy little sitting room. The walls were painted a light, pale yellow with almost-maroon carpet, but somehow it fit together wonderfully. There were pictures of Gerard and Mikey from when they were younger, a family portrait with the background cut out in a man-shape. That must’ve been their dad? I wondered as I looked over the rest of the room. Gerard sighed softly in my lap, his breath slowly evening out as he fell asleep. Mikey had, at some point, left the room and went upstairs, so it was just me, Mama Way, and the sleeping Gee left in the room. “You make him happy, I can tell.” She said, smiling softly at me. “He hasn’t fallen asleep like that since he was maybe eight.”

I shrugged my shoulders gently, so as not to wake him up. “I try.” I said, looking down at Gee’s relaxed face. “I know he makes me happy.”

“He’d never really had a girlfriend before, so I figured this was bound to happen.” She mused. “I’m alright with it, of course, but… I’m just glad he could end up with a person as good for him as you are.”

I blushed. Gerard hadn’t ever BEEN in a relationship before? I was… number one? The oven beeped in the kitchen and she stood up, bustling in to pull the pizza rolls out of the oven and separating them into two plates, one with about a third of the box, and the rest on a separate plate. She set the larger plate on the end table next to me and Gee, and carried the other part wordlessly upstairs to Mikey. When she came back, I had tried to eat one and only succeeded in burning my mouth with hot tomato sauce, and she laughed. “I just pulled them out, Frankie, what’d you expect?” She twinkled at me. There’s really no other way to say it. Smiled isn’t quite the right word. “I’ll get you some water.”

Before I could say a word, she was back in the kitchen and came out with a glass of water. “Thank you, Mama Way.” I said, smiling and gratefully taking the glass from her.

“Of course, Frankie.” She mumbled, sitting back down in her chair and watching Gerard sleep with a wistful look in her eye. “He really is a good boy, you know… He’s just got a lot of trouble in his past.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“His… His father.” She sighed, looking up at the cutout of a man on the mantle. “His father beat our children, and tried to hit me, but he didn’t really start until Gerard was almost 10. Gerard, sweetheart that he is, took his brother’s beatings for him, and tried to take mine. He’s got a strong soul…” She was tearing up as she told me this, looking down at her hands. "And he doesn’t like watching people get hurt, so he gets hurt for them. He’s such a good boy, really, but he got caught up in street fighting, and that took him away from me for a long time”

I nodded slowly, staring down at his relaxed face. I could just see him protecting his mother and Mikey with his life, and apparently he did. Everything slowly started to add up, his outbursts and his gruff attitude, as well as a thousand other little things. “Be good to him, Frankie.” His mom said, smiling and wiping at her wet eyes. “He deserves the best, the poor boy.”

I nodded in agreement. “He’s… I don’t even know how to say it. He’s just…” I struggled with words for a moment, trying to find the words to say what I felt.

“I know what you mean, dear.” Mama Way said, smiling gently. “He’s wonderful and hurt and violent and peaceful and beautiful and horrible and perfectly imperfect.”

“Yeah…” I said softly, still playing with his hair. “I love him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FRONKEH SAID THE "L" WORD  
> Anyways, comments, kudos, I love you so love me. Still going through a hard time - But I'm always here for you guys. Love you all!  
> ~xoxomika


End file.
